


I'm Nervous Too

by ardentmuse



Series: Merlin Oneshots [7]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Implied Sexual Content, Mild Smut, Nervousness, Showers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 22:48:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18019925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardentmuse/pseuds/ardentmuse
Summary: Request for the ever-lovely @moirasimagines for a first time sleeping with Merlin. And this is not proper smut, but it is definitely adult. Implied sex, talk of sex, LOTS of heavy petting below.





	I'm Nervous Too

The click of the door shutting fully pulled you from your intent focus on the way your legs were hanging over the edge of the bed. You flicked your eyes up to see Merlin facing you, now shrouded in a cloak of darkness as the hallway lights were no longer illuminating his sharp features.

You heard him swallow before he asked, “Are you comfortable?”

You dug your toes into the carpet and nodded. You allowed your hands to dig into the fabric of the duvet rather than cover yourself like you wanted to. You weren’t even undressed yet somehow you already felt very exposed. 

Merlin took long strides until he stood in front of you. You watched his shoes, moving your eyes up to his knees but no further. 

Merlin knelt in front of you, his chest now in line with your vision. You felt his hands gently pry your fingers loose one digit at a time until he was holding one hand in each of his own, cupping them like delicate treasures. He pulled your hands forward, against his chest, which drew your eyes to his face.

Merlin smiled at you, though his eyes were tight with worry.

“We don’t have to do this. Not today. Not ever. You do know that, right?”

You nodded again and swallowed. You had no idea why something so natural, something not as huge of a leap as it could have been now that you both had shared a bed and seen each other naked, felt so intense. You had even had a rather handsy shower together just a few days ago filled with fumbling and laughter and overwhelming pleasure, which is what led to the question that brought you here tonight.

“I know, Hamish. But I want to,” you assured, though you dropped your head once again to stare at your interlocked hands.

“You could’ve fooled me,” he laughed, an effort to make light of your nervousness. When you didn’t laugh in turn, he took a deep breath and continued, “I’m nervous, too, love.”

Your eyes quickly flicked up to meet his. You saw his honesty shining through so clearly.

“Really?”

“Of course,” he said, running his thumbs over your palms.

“Why?”

Hamish took a moment to consider your question fully. He lifted himself from his knees and kept one of your hands as he made to sit beside you. You turned, pulling your legs up underneath you so you could be face-to-face with your boyfriend.

“Where to even begin?” he breathed before turning his attention once again back to you. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. Honestly, I never thought I could. But now you are all I think about, even in these moments. This could be torture for me – I mean, it isn’t. It’s ecstasy every time I get to touch you – but even if it were, I’d gladly take all the pain to give you even just an ounce of pleasure in this.”

He paused to meet your gaze and gauge your reaction. When it was clear to him you were intent and focused, he continued.

“I want this to be good for you. And I’m so scared I’m going to screw that up.”

You took a second to process what he was saying. Your gentle partner was worried he couldn’t bring you pleasure. Had all those times he had nearly brought you to release as you made out, straddling him in his office not made it clear just how much you enjoyed even the simplest of touches from him?

“Hamish, you have nothing to worry about.”

“When my girlfriend is sitting on my bed shaking like a wet chihuahua at the simple thought of having sex with me, I think I do.”

You laughed genuinely at that. You were being quite the nervous wreck about this.

After a moment, Merlin piped up, “Let’s get you ready for bed.” And with that, he took your hand and led you to the bathroom.

Once inside and with the door closed, you asked, “Giving up on trying tonight?”

He didn’t answer but instead turned to the shower and started the water, testing for warmth before returning his attention to you.

In a few steps he was upon you again, reaching for you shirt to help you undress. You lifted you arms but allowed him to do most of the work. It was slow as Merlin kissed each part he exposed: a sleeve off and then a kiss to the shoulder, your bra unhooked and pecks down your spine, your skirt discarded and lips upon your hips bones. The room slowly filled with steam, blocking out a few of your senses and moistening your skin to ease his movement.

Once bare, he striped himself, stepped into the shower and offered you a hand to help you in as well.

As you stepped in, Hamish was already sudsing up a loofah. He turned to allow you access to the stream of water. You stepped forward, allowing the water to cover you like a curtain, warm and inviting on your skin. Soon your goosebumps were gone and your limbs eased of the tension you had been holding. You hardly felt when Hamish leaned over and began rubbing gentle circles into your shoulder with the soap.

With you eyes closed, you focused on the feel of his hands running along your skin. Gently they slid over your shoulders and down your sides. He had you squirming as he washed your underarms, playful and silly. This was what you wanted: an easy, peaceful exchange of touches, a calm joy in each other’s bodies.

You didn’t even consider that this might be foreplay, so caught up in the comfortable feel of him, until Hamish began to clean your breasts. At first his hands just ran soap along the underside, gently cupping the weight of them as he worked at the skin. But soon his sud-coated fingers found their place on your nipples. His touch started light, just simple circles over the sensitive skin, but soon he was pinching and pulling just the way you loved. After a minute or two, you hardened even against the warm stream of water. He knew he had you then. 

You slowly leaned back against the wall, breath tight and stomach churning. Hamish leaned forward to kiss your cheek before allowing his hands to continue their journey southward. He slid over your hips and cupped your rear, his fingers coming dangerously close to the parts of you yet fully explored.

He chuckled as you parted your legs to grant him access, such a nice change of events, though he didn’t take you up on the offer. Instead, he pressed himself firmly against you and began to kiss your neck, lavishing you in love and adoration as his hands roamed your hips and lower back.

Pleasure rippled through your body. Each movement was slick and tantalizing, each kiss passionate and full of life. Every time his hands found a new bit of skin, you found yourself arching into him. His now semi-hard length against your core was only aiding in your feeling of complete and utter devotion to this man. His length sank between your thighs, moving softly with each light thrust of his hips, teasing you endlessly and leaving you completely aching.

You reached between your bodies to stroke him, more in an effort to encourage him to continue. But as soon as you made contact with his length, he pulled away.

Before you could process what was happened, Hamish had you up in his arms and out of the shower, the water still running.

You squealed as he carried you into the bedroom with water dripping everywhere.

“Hamish, you’ll soak the sheets,” you squeaked as he dropped you down with a bounce onto the mattress before covering you with his own body.

“We’ll need to do laundry anyway,” he assured into your ear between gently kissing your face.

The ease your limbs felt in the shower had carried over to the bedroom. You sunk deep into the sheets as he ground into you. You hooked your legs around his hips on instinct, reaching up to hold his shoulders.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yes,” you confirmed, your voiced filled with the confidence it had lacked when this entire endeavor began.

“I love you,” he whispered as he positioned himself.

“I love you, too,” you managed to breath before he found home in your body, as perfect and as overwhelming as you had imagined.

**Author's Note:**

> https://ardentmuse.tumblr.com/post/176420773801/im-nervous-too-merlin-x-reader


End file.
